Oct 9, 2012

The future....the unknown.

We all have these moments in our lives, when we really have to question what is truly important for us.....we have to think things over......ensure we are either on the right course or figure out the new coordinates....and then...then comes the hardest part - To make choices. Which way should we go? Should we go with our guts? Should we choose the easy way? The one with least expected obstacles? Should we do nothing? Will our hearts be the best guides? Or maybe our minds? ....and then another hard, but critically important part, can we avoid being influenced by others in making choices to ensure we are doing what is right for us and only us? 
Crossroads....that's what they are.....and I have the feeling, they are appearing in front of me more than what's normal....or maybe people just don't talk about theirs? "Where is that crystal ball?!" I can't even begin to count the number of times I've asked myself that question.....

Right now, as you might be able to imagine, or as you probably know if you already are a parent, I am asking myself many questions.....like, how will things feel after the baby arrives? Will I still have the drive and ambitions that I've had as long as I can remember? Will I want a more quiet life? Can I handle a more quiet life? Does this/that make sense also in the future? What is best for me? ...and is that what's best for us?

I think I have too much time on my hands right now. Too much time to think and  to contemplate...and too few friends around......so today I'm trying new things. Small things......I'm eating a new breakfast. Listening to new music. Hoping this will give me a new perspective....shed a different light on things.

Compared to a few years ago, I feel a major change inside. I am happy now! I mean really happy!! I have a sense of peace inside....the same kind of peace I felt as I child and had just started to explore the world. When I look upon the world now, I am aware of the risks of my decisions, that's probably the difference compared to what I was like as a child, but what I see, what's in focus if you will, are the opportunities and adventures! ...just like back then. The choices I am making these days do not impact my happiness.....it is safe, it is in the right place, it's within me! Independent of the world, the consequences of our choices and the opinion of others. I know not many choices are irreversible. Not really! Not many things have to be permanent unless we want them to be (parenthood aside ;)).....and by every mistake, comes new learnings and new experiences, so can they really be called "mistakes"?

So what are choices? .....curses or blessings? How do you make your choices and decisions? What changed for you after becoming parents? What is the scariest decision you ever made? Do you have many regrets?


1 comment:

  1. Honey I been there many, many times before and the only advice I can truly give you is to follow your instinct and try to make the right decision with your head clear. You will always have doubts and more questions to follow but we can only move forward and be ok with whatever decisions we make at the end.

    Hope this helps doll and good luck.

    <3 Marina


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